The World of On Line Dating

So, my ex has found greener pastures. He comes to visit on the weekend to see the kids, but mostly to rub his new girlfriend in my face. Not that I want him back. I don't. But I'm so lonely the cat has actually started to hide so I can't squeeze it.
I work with all teens, most over 18 so they aren't illegal, but eww. So, no dates there. I line dance. With older women. No dates there. The bars are just not my thing, and short of having my teenaged daughter hook me up I have no other option.
Duh duh duuuh!
Dating service!
Ok, it's completely lame, but it's worth a shot. I mean I'm a nice normal person that's on the site. There has to be others.
Right?
Right?
So I posted a cute little bio. I made myself sound fluffy. Cute and fluffy. Like a sheep.
Sigh.
It's not me. I'm not happy-go-lucky. I'm tired. Angry. Ready to smack the ex with a shovel.
I am not a sheep.
Oddly enough a guy responded. Wooo! Yay me!
He is employed, big bonus there, has his own place, another bonus, and kids of his own, yay!
He then grills me.
Do I work? Do I drink? Do I wear heels and prance around?
Whoa. What?
Heels? Since when is that a requirement for a date? I mean I could see the use in having two legs, but that isn't even all that important. As long as the guy isn't drunk the whole day and can make it through the store without hitting on someone I'm a happy gal.
But this guy had the nerve to tell me that without heels and heavy makeup I was not girly enough for him.
Of all the things I expected from a dating site, this was not one of them.
I work 40 hours a week, have two kids and 4 cats. As fluffy as I'm able to get is slacks and a cute top. Even then I have to battle the cat hair as I run for the door.
I like jeans and sweaters. I like makeup, but don't get into earrings and such, just no time.
Since when did the outside of a person matter more than the inside? Eye candy is a shallow way to live. No wonder he is on a dating site.
I politely turned him down.
He was really ok with this.
Until he took up line dance.
I've been dancing for years. I'm out of shape, but I can move if I need to.
The instructor yelled at me for showing off.
He was stunned.
After all I was in jeans. And very very hot.
He called every day for a week.
I turned him down every day.
I'm still alone, but revenge was very sweet.

Life as a new divorcee

It's the stupid things that you don't think about that get you. For me it's the stuff my ex did and never grumbled about. It was almost as if he wanted me helpless in those areas. He gladly handled house and car repairs, but never mowed the lawn. Sigh.
The lawn is going to kill me to mow. I have and know how, which is probably why he never did it, but he never let me do it either. I can't find my cat...
The house repairs are another story all together. I can change a light bulb. I can plug stuff into the wall. But the rest...
Yesterday I plunged my first toilet. It was disgusting. And the slurpy noise the plunger made was vile. It was almost worth hiring someone to do it. Almost. I managed. It wasn't a whole lot of fun but I got through it.
Now the car is another matter. I can drive, I can put gas in it. That's it. So, when I noticed the little inspection sticker was out of date I called the mechanic. I was so proud of myself! I'd handled a potentially huge issue. I even arranged for a ride to and from since the mechanic said it would take a couple of hours before he could get to it.
He just called, the mechanic, the registration is expired.
I guess I'm not doing such a great job after all.

The Trouble With Being Single

This is my first post, but not my first divorce. I'm going to really try not to whine, but wow! The last time I was single was in 1994, and I hated every second. I spent the day at a job I hated and the nights alone in my tiny apartment.
It isn't any better this time.
I imagined that the divorce would magically create peace and harmony in my life. The divorce fairy would swoop down, wave her wand and Poof!! I'd be happy.
Right.
If there is a divorce fairy she has a messed up sense of humor.
First, the divorce fairy forgot to take my husband, er..ex husband, with her. She left him to annoy me every Saturday when he picks up his son. She should have shown some consideration, right? Take him permanently out of the picture, to Vegas or Sheboygan. But, no! He plunks his skinny rump on my old sofa and watches the TV I pay for and eats my Cheetos!
How is that fair?
When does the fun start? The dating hot men? The oodles of cash raining in from child support?
The reality of it is it sucks nearly as bad as being married to the creep to begin with. I'm stuck affording new shoes and Cheetos and he's off on his own.
Now to be fair I'm sure men don't have it any easier. They are humans too, except my ex, he's special. I'm betting they are lonely too, and worried about the kids they had to leave behind.
I never imagined that I would end up divorced a second time. I was not ready. My job isn't enough for the three of us. My house isn't paid for. The dog doesn't even like me!
So, where is that divorce fairy? I have some questions for her.